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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

15.06.2025 08:25

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By taking turns talking.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

Hi, I’m Jo. My best friend died 2 years ago today. My husband died 6 months later. So, I’m a depressed mess (we were married 28 years) and can’t shake it. Even my Brother is worried. Some days I don’t do anything, and avoid men cause I don’t want to date. Any suggestions? Thanks for reading.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

Have you ever been instructed/forced to crossdress for the benefit of others?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.